Old photos.

Last lazy Sunday afternoon I busted out stacks of old film photos, some of which I hadn’t looked at in at least a decade, and placed them in their respective albums. Some took a moment to place, faces of the children we used to be staring back, smiling. It was fun going through those old photos, curating them into something someone someday can pick up, open, study. I need to take more old photos.

Monday morning I awoke from a dream. An old friend’s aunt had a cabin in Asheville, I had or rented a fifteen passenger van and was driving door-to-door among old friends, demanding a roadtrip like something out of Blues Brothers.

Ten years ago I was stringing along six and ten month technician gigs. Everyone was, everyone who hadn’t gone on to hide out in academia or sell insurance post-Recession. I got sick of it, went away to grad school. Came back, got a real job, one with salary and benefits that lets me still be a kid most days. Most days, I’m content.

Ten years on, I still wrestle with the ruts. I’ve just realized everyone else does, too.

Maybe that’s the biggest lesson of the past decade, transitioning from twenties to thirties. Moving on, extracting one’s head from their ass, realizing there’s a whole big world out there and a fair share of it’s inhabitants will always be better at any given thing than you are. Learning humility. Learning gratitude. Learning not to sweat the small stuff.

I’m curious to see what I’ll learn in the next decade.

One comment

  1. You get it …. the twenties are a time of experimentation. Pushing on our edges to stretch and discover more of “who” we are. The thirties are a time of Strengthening, honing skills and shoving more of them into our pockets…feeling the tightening of our breath under traditional work patterns. If one gets married and has children, the energy levels required to sustain such an undertaking is huge… work and responsibilities alone leave little time for Self and play. I call it “life in the trenches” a time of continual storm, the “perfect storm”… and everyone around you is experiencing it too. The forties can be a bit of a Renaissance, feeling the urge and need to stretch ourselves into new physical and spiritual terrain. By the time one enters the decade of the fifties, a person begins to really have some fun and kick ass…. it is a time of Ripening, experiencing a level of Fullness with ones acquired knowledge and skill levels. The sixties? I find it a time of great Release, giving the finger to encultured expectations… I have fulfilled pretty much everything life and culture has expected of me: daughter, maiden, wife, professional, mother, support person, etc. Now I can really take the time to read the water, set out a hook or a fly, and thoroughly enjoy the reflections of light off the surface of the water…

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